I first met the Very Rev. Fr. Chris Alar, MIC, at a Catholic Writers Conference in 2018. He was promoting his book After Suicide. This was a timely encounter, as I had two acquaintances who were struggling after recently losing family members to suicide. God will often place opportunities in our hands to help those in need of comfort.
I purchased two books for those two individuals who were struggling with the unique heartache that the death of a loved one by suicide brings. I soon started following his show, Living Divine Mercy, on EWTN. I feel blessed to have had the opportunity to interview him. The following are bits and pieces of our conversation; there were many good parts to choose from.
After Suicide came about because of Fr. Chris Alar's grandmother's death by suicide. He believed she was in hell because, as he understood it, that was what the Catholic Church taught — or at least that is what he believed.
A priest told him to look up paragraphs 2282 and 2283 in the Catechism of the Catholic Church. He was stunned. How could he not have known this as a young adult Catholic? How many Catholics are unaware of this teaching?
Paragraph 2282 states: “Grave psychological disturbances, anguish or grave fear of hardship, suffering or torture can diminish the responsibility of the one committing suicide.”
Paragraph 2283 goes on to state: “We should not despair of the eternal salvation of persons who have taken their own lives. By ways known to him alone, God can provide the opportunity for salutary repentance. The Church prays for persons who have taken their own lives.”
This should offer peace to anyone who has lost a loved one to suicide.
The Catechism also provides peace for someone who does something horrendous that was not in their nature. The example provided by Fr. Chris Alar was Charles Whitman, the Texas bell tower shooter, who was later found to have a brain tumor adjacent to structures involved in emotional regulation.
Raising awareness through a very grim fact — that more U.S. veterans are dying by suicide than in combat — is an issue for our military and for all of us. The mission of all civilians who want to help, even when we feel unqualified to step in, can begin with prayer and awareness.
I also want to stress the importance of being aware of 988, a simple phone number that could save a life. I wrote a blog titled “The 411 on 988,” which was published March 11, 2026. There is a great deal of information available about 988.
The most fascinating part of my discussion with Fr. Chris Alar was our conversation about time.
Did you know your prayers are timeless because God is outside of time? You can pray for anyone at any time, even for those who have died by suicide.
There is a sense of peace in this concept for those who feel it is too late for their deceased loved one and believe their fate in the afterlife is already determined.
I will leave you with one last thought: Out of the bad, good can come.
Fr. Chris Alar stated that because of his grandmother's suicide, his priesthood came about. We have all experienced a bad situation that affected us greatly. Please take the time to pray when bad things happen. That bad moment can lead to good because it is in God's hands.
Thank you, Fr. Alar, for your generous gift of time and for sharing your story.
His book, After Suicide, can be found through EWTN Religious Catalogue, Amazon and other booksellers.
By Linda Hopkins, Parish Mental Health Ministry Coordinator
