Giving care for loved ones can be hard work, lonely work but also rewarding work. Praise to the care givers out there, who often go unnoticed. Care giving to loved ones can be urgent with a steep learning curve or a gradual increase in care that is needed. Think of the difference of diving into a pool and sitting on the side of the pool and gradually lowering your body into the pool. I usually am a toe dipper getting into the pool, but life sometimes will push you in, and you learn to adapt at a rapid pace. I have experienced both in my lifetime of caring for my family. Life is a mix of toe dipping or being pushed in, often it seems at the same time.
My eldest son Kyle pushed me into the pool, both in his childhood and adulthood as we both learned about him being on the spectrum and navigating life, often falling in along the way. Recently he and I were both pushed into a very icy pool. The culprit, his liver, and I just wish to say he doesn’t really look good in yellow. Tests and a biopsy revealed an auto immune disease of the liver called auto immune hepatitis. There was talk of a transplant need sooner rather than later, but for now as he received steroids, pain management, and insulin to control blood sugar he is slowly healing. This condition may be abatted
The yellow is ebbing, the energy level is slowly, very slowly improving and he is focused on improving blood sugar levels. Knowledge about one’s condition is vital to gaining control of ones health. Care givers need to understand what conditions their loved one is going through to help guide and navigate the complex world of medical care. I have witnessed care givers who seem to know more about the patients’ condition than the doctor. They are up on current medicines and diets that can help. The need to stay on top of medicines and diet can be overwhelming for many people, finding a support group is a very important part for the care giver, after all care giving is not for the faint of heart.
The Parish Mental Health Ministry has several support groups that are offered; some are ongoing, and some are short sessions throughout the year. You will see grief support offered as well; I encourage everyone to seek out the comfort of sitting with those who understand. Often a condition your loved one is struggling with may have a support group connected with another organization, for example the National Alliance on Mental Illness NAMI offers support groups.
If you are blessed and not in need of a support group, perhaps keep in mind those who are in need and offer the gift of a listening heart. Provers 11:25 states “and whoever refreshes others will be refreshed”
I will be dropping in for support and will also listen and support those around me. I don’t know the future for my son, will transplant be necessary, will he manage his health well? We don’t often know the answers, and I need to accept that even with following all the directions etc. things aren’t always on our time. I think perhaps we all know who times our struggles are one, so don’t forget to pray.
By Linda Hopkins, Parish Mental Health Coordinator
