Marianne Brachman worked with birth families at Catholic Charities of Kansas City- St. Joseph in Adoption and Mom’s Empowerment programs for almost 15 years.
Birthmothers are our daughters, sisters, girlfriends, and neighbors.
The adoption program at Catholic Charities is honored to work with women of all ages who come to us wanting a stable, loving and secure future for their babies when they are unable to provide it. Often, they are working hourly jobs, with at least one to three older children and just getting by monthly.
They have experienced stressful and often failed relationships with the birth fathers of their children and their current relationship may be unstable. When an unexpected pregnancy is confirmed and the reality of a minimal or non-existent support system is clear to them, the stress level can be unbearable. They fear the hardship from adding one more child to their daily challenges that this baby will cause for her older children and even for the new baby.
Some of the mothers have serious physical and/or mental health diagnosis’ that they must manage and understand the limitations during the pregnancy. Working with mothers on their physical and social histories allows them to give informed information for their infant’s future.
Each mother has her unique story but the universal theme is “wanting a better life for this baby than I could give,” as a 41-year-old mother of an older disabled son shared with the program. Catholic Charities’ Adoption program has seen mothers able to return to their academic goals, financially and physically stabilize and go forward post-adoption placement.
The adoption triad of birth mother, infant and adoptive families has been and continues to be life-changing and empowering for all. At Catholic Charities, we have been caring for children and families for over 140 years! Our agency began as an orphanage in 1879, and we have impacted thousands of families through our adoption services as a full-service licensed and accredited child-placing agency in Missouri. This long history of serving children and families shows the stability of our agency. Our longevity is one of many strengths to working with Catholic Charities.
If you want to learn more you can email us at adoptions@ccharities.com, call us at 816-659-8235 or read more on our website https://catholiccharities-kcsj.org/adoption-services/
Those facing unplanned pregnancies can call 816-310-7051 at any time to reach a birthparent coordinator.
Catholic Charities was there for me in 1969 when I became pregnant at 19 years old. I was in college, unmarried, and my family situation, with an alcoholic father, was not one I wanted a child being raised in and I was not prepared to live on my own with a baby. When I finally told my mother it was she who immediately said “when you have your baby it will be adopted”. I was so grateful to have a mother to guide me and be with me through the process. There was no hesitation on her part as to what I would do. My burden was lifted. Nobody else, except a couple trusted girl friends, knew about my condition.
Mom called Catholic Charities. We set up an appointment and the rest is history.
In September of 1969 I had a baby girl. I called her Robin, thinking of her as my little bird who flew away. She was adopted out of the hospital.
Over the years my mother would often ask me if I was looking for her. Mom remembered and sent me a card every year on this child’s birthday. Since we had given me a new name on the adoption records I knew it would be difficult for her to find me plus the records had been sealed. I was also told at one point that the records were destroyed in a fire at Catholic Charities in Chicago. At that point I notified the state that I wanted the record open if that was possible. I joined a couple of online groups designed to reconnect families. I updated my information over the years. The rest would be up to her. Not knowing whether or not she was even alive forced me to put her out of my mind. By now I was married and had 3 children. I had told my husband about all of this – think he put it out of his mind too!
By the Spring of 2011 I was living alone having been divorced in 2005. I was gardening and started to notice several Robins building bird nests in my trees and hanging baskets. It was lovely to think of her as I watched the Robins go about their business of having their own families.
It was that year, in Dec 201l, when I received an email from someone asking me if I knew Peggy Roberts which was the name I had taken when initiating this process with Catholic Charities. My whole world was about to change.
It’s a long story which involved telling my children they had a sister, telling my brothers and sisters etc. but in the end everyone was thrilled to welcome Kim into our family.
Our meeting was amazing. I later met her parents who I became friends with. Kim had my first two grandchildren. They all lived in California, me in Kansas City. We get together as often as we can. The love we all have come to share is a big part of my life as well as that of my three children.
I have no regrets about my decision. Kim was raised by fine people who later also adopted a son. When she told me she had a wonderful life it was all I ever wanted to know.
Thanks Mom and Catholic Charities for your guidance and for being there when I needed you.
Peggy, what a beautiful story! Thank you for sharing it with us and our community. Your story is one of faith, love, trust and perseverance. Thank you for sharing this with us! God Bless you.
Ashley, I was also a college student in 1969. You refer to a “happy” story…there were and are other stories that are “sad” (like a dear friend of mine) and these stories continue today. I have five children and one is adopted. As an adoptive mother, I have a personal perspective: what church affiliated infant/toddler subsidized day care programs are being offered in 2022 in the KC diocese? How are we trying to help Birth moms keep their babies?
I submitted a comment and you posted it, and then, took it off!!