“Be still and know that I am God.” – Psalm 46:11
A verse many of us know well, yet the act of stillness itself is anything but easy. True stillness requires quieting the noise inside us- the to-do lists, the what-ifs, the worries that clutter our minds. Waiting is equally difficult. When we wait, we reach for distractions- our phones, games, tasks… anything to avoid being still. And this isn’t just true of children; adults struggle with stillness, too.
Advent invites us to do the opposite: to be still and to wait with expectation. I remember as a child watching each new candle being lit on the Advent wreath, the week between candles feeling impossibly long. Lighting a fresh candle was one of my favorite moments.
But for many, sitting in stillness during Advent is incredibly hard. Pain, grief, or loss can make the season feel heavy. Loss comes in many forms, and even distant memories can resurface in a season when everything around us seems joyful.
Last week I attended a beautiful service I want to share with you- Blue Christmas, presented by the St. Therese Mental Health Ministry. This was the second year of this thoughtful program, with plans to continue. The reflections offered there were simple, heartfelt, and filled with hope. Here are a few key points from the service:
Four Advent candles were lit, each representing a different type of loss:
- The first candle remembers those we have loved and lost.
- The second candle honors other forms of loss- relationships, jobs, health, and even the loss of joy or peace.
- The third candle reflects on loss of direction: those moments when we reach a crossroads or suddenly find the road ahead gone. In those times, we can hold onto the promise of Deuteronomy 31:8- “The Lord goes before you and will be with you… do not be afraid.”
- The fourth candle symbolizes hope- the quiet, steady hope of the Christmas story.
On the back of the program were simple, practical suggestions for coping with holiday blues:
- Set realistic expectations. This is difficult when we imagine a picture-perfect holiday.
- Set boundaries and say no. We are often tempted to take on “just one more thing,” especially for the sake of children.
- Avoid isolating yourself. Connection matters, especially when you’re feeling low.
- Do what brings you joy. For me, it’s sitting in soft light and watching a favorite Christmas movie.
- Use alcohol in moderation. And don’t use it, or anything else, to avoid difficult feelings.
These are wise reminders for any time of year.
In all the commotion of the season, it’s easy to lose sight of Christmas’ true meaning. Stillness can help us find our way back. Even a few quiet minutes can ground our thoughts. Christmas often brings back childhood memories for me- the Advent wreath, letters to Santa, and the best part of A Charlie Brown Christmas: Linus’ humble recitation of Luke 2:8–14. I remember how still my mind would become as I listened to the story of the shepherds and the birth of Jesus.
Peace to you all this Advent season.
If you’d like information about the wonderful programs offered by the St. Therese Mental Health Ministry, reach out at mhm@sttheresenorth.org.
By Linda Hopkins, Parish Mental Health Ministry Coordinator