Anxiety as a Traveling Companion

I did not pack anxiety, nor did I invite it along for my trip of a lifetime. Anxiety hitched a ride when I wasn’t looking and somehow sneaked past TSA- finding its way onto my phone, my connection to loved ones across the pond. I had landed in Ireland for a two-week adventure, and immediately the stowaway reared its evasive, ugly head.

Despite preparing my phone for international travel, it ignored all my efforts and would not call or text. “Well hello, anxiety- please leave me alone,” I thought. But no, it didn’t leave. Instead, it became an irritating background noise that grew louder and followed me everywhere. Every time I took a beautiful photo and wanted to share it with my loved ones, reality hit: no way to send the treasure. That reality check sparked a wave of anxiety about not knowing how my loved ones (including my dog) were doing. “They are fine, they are fine,” my brain repeated, but it didn’t always process the message clearly, returning garbled responses that embedded themselves in my mind and manifested in unpleasant ways.

Prayer and absorbing the beauty and wonder of Ireland kept anxiety at bay, though not locked away. A simple thought like, I wish my husband could see this with me, became an open invitation for the uninvited one: How is your husband doing? Did he forget his appointment? Who’s feeding the dog? In those moments, I clung to hope, prayer, and mindful breathing- the self-care practices I’ve exercised for years.

One benefit of this trip was grounding myself in nature. My daily steps more than doubled what I usually get at home, leaving anxiety struggling to keep up. I am grateful my friend, a true traveling companion, did not abandon me in my angst. Meanwhile, the stowaway played its discordant music and thoughts in the background. Most of the time, I could control the volume, but occasionally, the stowaway turned the volume up beyond my reach, and all I could do was pray and hope.

A few words on hope: in an article from Science News Today, I found two quotes that resonated deeply. Martin Luther King Jr. spoke of a “hope that something better is coming,” and Nelson Mandela called hope “a powerful weapon.” Even in prison, even in exile, hope refused to die.

My good friend, my true traveling companion, grounded me when I was overthinking everything- a voice of reason, unlike the stowaway. A friend like this is a true blessing, and everyone should strive to be such a friend.

For those seeking hope and healing during difficult times, I’ve provided a link to the Parish Mental Health Ministry Calendar. Please see the Blue Christmas Service at St. Therese North Church, where through prayer, one can find hope and healing during the challenging holiday season.

By Linda Hopkins, Parish Mental Health Ministry Coordinator